Sunday, November 29, 2009
me, me, me, me, me
Throughout this period without paid employment (now five months) I have often been disheartened by the fact that there have been no great flights of imagination or grand projects. But my drawing has definitely moved forward and I have learned to relax more. I see the world a little differently. I had hoped for more coherence in my reading, the further development of views, to build thoughts more, to pray more, to find new things to do, for things to make more sense. These have happened only very haphazardly. I am sometimes unhappy with myself w/r/t the lack of activity and other times forgiving and understanding. Being without work is hard for anyone. Me no less than any one else.
I wonder if the blog, which is nearing its first anniversary, is an accurate reflection of what has been on my mind and heart. I have deliberately shied away from sharing most day to day activities and autobiography. But I do happily hope that the personal stuff comes across in the posts anyway, even when there are no or few words (which is most of the time). I have not taken the time to go back and reflect on the whole (as I recommended for The Insatiable Moon blog in my last post) but I am glad that there is something to go back to. And that it tells a story. Maybe not the story that I would have chosen to tell but definitely my story - the threads that continue to get woven in to the whole and the ones that have been dropped. I find grace in all of this. Receive it happily.
The one consistent drawing theme that I have managed to keep up since switching notebooks at the beginning of this month is that I frequently draw myself. Only one picture made it on to the blog so far (those first notebook pages). I decided to run some of these images together - the drawing here. I don't look like all these guys but they are all me. In this, and in the Echo Chamber post, which was also a more personal drawing, I can feel some new direction. This is slight but makes me very happy indeed.